Welcome to the new Faulty Towers - one of Patong's oldest and friendliest bars!

A Hash House Harriers friendly bar
~ estd. 1989 (moved 2004) ~

After a hectic two days of shifting, Goatfucker invited the Hash to our new bar's opening party on Saturday 29th August.

We had just installed Kilkenny on draught and are selling it at 160 baht per pint. Dogballs and Botty Sniffer did a cauldron of their world famous Cajun stew - fantastic (I never knew potatoes and sweet corn could give you "ring sting" in the morning!) The Kilkenny keg must have been a miracle keg from the Lady of Lourdes - it seemed unending. Me, Anal Gas, Gollum and Goatfucker tried and tried to finish it and eventually at 2 am managed to kill it off. I stole the final mouthful from the last draw of the pump depriving Goatfucker of the honour.

Sack of Shit volunteered to be barman for the late "lock in" and he was extremely heavy handed on the measures. The result was Gollum rolling around on the floor and Goatfucker trying to escape. We also decided to do the first drink to daylight session which ended at 0700 when we locked the place up in bright morning sunlight.

Sack of Shit decided to be a really good guy and took charge of Gollum and escorted the drunk home. He hired a tuk tuk and took Gollum right to his door and then had the driver take him to his hotel where he slept all day and didn't turn up until seven o'clock in the Sunday evening. He looked like a truck had run him down.

Arnt went home in daylight and Nanny, his wife, found him asleep in the front garden. She could not wake him and had to resort to the garden hose to douse the dopey Norwegian down. It was reminiscent of a scene from the news where you see volunteers trying to keep a beached whale cool.

Anal Gas woke up in his room and found his elbow stuck to his bed sheet by a pool of blood. He has no idea where he collected the cuts on his elbow. He never showed up until Monday afternoon.

Scud - what do you expect? I opened the Bar again at two in the afternoon as normal. It was an excellent start to the new Faulty Towers.

+66 (0)76 344061

163/10 Ratuthit Rd, Patong Beach, Kathu, Phuket 83150, THAILAND

faultytowersinn@hotmail.com